Parents Need Other Parent Friends!
‘You’re late again’ says your non-parent friend with a look of irritation… I know, I’m sorry… the little bugger had a tantrum about getting into the car seat, then his juice box squirted all over his shirt (which he hates wet clothes touching his skin) and I had to change his shirt, then I finally start driving and what do you know he falls asleep, so I don’t want to wake him up too early, because sleeping tots are better than a nice piece of chocolate with red wine to go with it… If you could only understand… please don’t be irritated with me!
Now take that scenario with a friend who has kids… Ha, you’re a little behind schedule, don’t worry I was too! You want to talk about it? And as you explain the not wanting to get into the car, the wet shirt, the falling asleep, they laugh a little and add ‘been there my friend!’ Should we sit outside while the little stinker sleeps a little longer? leave the car door cracked open or roll all the windows down, I’ll get chairs to sit on and grab us something to drink… YES! Thank you!
Friends Make Life Better
We all need friends, companions, comrades, amigos, having someone to relate to, talk to, listen to, smile and laugh with. And while old friends are nice sometimes we change in life, well let’s say the lifestyle changes than the person per-say. Who we once considered close and who we’d see everyday moves away, becomes a parent before us (or vice versa), they become more career oriented, or are a traveler, etc… Gradually you see each other less and less, talk on the phone and internet less as well… it’s a sad realization when this happens, as we hold on to what is left, we are in a way forced to make new friends that will hopefully blossom into close friendships with ones we can relate to and see often.
Making New Friendships Feels All Too Similar To The Dating Scene!
Your Best Bet Is The School, it’s like a gold mine of people wanting to make friendships! (can anyone say speed dating?!)
The wonderful thing about having kids is that it helps us to socialize among other parents and start those amazing friendships. Will it take longer to form friendships than our kids? most likely! If we could only make friends like our kids do, yet for some reason it’s harder for adults to make friends. Our children make friends within minutes and by the end of the week call each other ‘Besties’… So the question we need to ask ourselves is what changes within us as we grow into adulthood that makes this process harder? Is it our years of being rejected and judged that make us hesitate to get close to new people? Do we become too judgmental of others? Why is it more difficult to put ourselves out there and say ‘hey how old is your kid(s)? looks like our kids get along well! And keep the conversation going to get to know each other. I know sometimes there’s that awkward silence for a moment as you try to feel each other out OR get interrupted by our little angels, but don’t let that end the conversation… sometimes a brief silence is needed (it’s not a bad thing people!)
So when you can smile, wave, say hi, it’ll make you more inviting to others and they may even reciprocate AND maybe even approach you! Remember to use the school and sporting events to make friends, both places are like gold mines, take advantage of it! Oh, and one more thing… you don’t need to bounce from person to person to get to know them all at the same time. Pick two or three parents and get to know them well, then slowly work your way to meet more.
Keep Your Old Friends
As for your old friends, keep them in your heart and reach out to them as much as you can because you never know what life may throw your way… they might move close again, or visit more often, or have a new job that isn’t so demanding, OR even have 10 kids of their own and you can have playdates. Whatever the reason you’ll be able to pick up where you left off.
Good Luck and Fear not! You’re not the only one feeling like you miss your old close friends and in need of new ones, we’re all in the same boat!
Take care readers!
photo 1 by: hawaiikawaii.net
photo 2 by: keep-calm-o-matic.co.uk