How To Lose A Guy In 10 Minutes
So you’re back out there in the single life, not sure how things are these days with the dating scene… You put in the movie ‘How to lose a guy in 10 days’ and voila! You feel you’ve got a good idea of how to talk with a guy, get his digits, a date, and well good times down the road.
It’s all about being yourself (not yourself under pressure though!) Take a deep breath and know you are a good catch and he is just a man (out of many men ‘other fish in the sea’ kind of deal) SOOO if you mess up, it’s okay! just move along the line of hot guys… next! Some goof-ups are considered cute, tongue-tied, nervous laugh, etc… BUT there are deal breakers that will make him run for the hills never to return… and here they are… ready!
So you start talking to this guy, he’s a yum-good-looking-make- you- bite your- bottom- lip kind of MAN, Oh Lordy! Don’t mess this up lady! Well, you met this man while you’re kids were off exploring the park and he was walking his dog. When all of a sudden your kids show up, like they always do when you’re in the middle of talking to someone… and you introduce your new ‘man friend’ as their future step dad (accidentally blurted out your ‘suppose to be’ quiet thought~ damn you woman, you blew it!)…
huh, what do you know men CAN run faster than dogs!
Don’t Move too fast! (no future talk of being together!) And by all means, keep those crazy thoughts to yourself!
You bumped into a guy while turning a corner, ‘Well hello there!’ you feel sparks, it’s a go on your side! And instead of just saying a reasonable oops sorry, or excuse me, or hello, you go all out and hug the man and say you’re never letting go, it’s meant to be, cupid made you guys bump into each other to be forever’s true love… and then you never let go until he peels off your kung fu grip and runs for his dear life.
(again with the future talk, don’t suffocate the man!) Move slow because true love takes time, build that strong foundation.
You become mute, and your mouth stays open until you start to drool (he’s so pretty!) Your zombie impression is spot-on, too bad he walked away confused, like ‘what the hell is wrong with that woman?’
Next time a simple ‘Hi, how are you?!’ will do. And if you can’t get yourself to speak, just smile and walk away!
your sick and you feel like you might have to vomit on him and you do!(I know what you’re thinking ‘Eloise gross!’ I know, but I’ve actually seen this happen to someone, it was disgusting and a little funny!- glad it wasn’t me!) Now ever time he sees you he’ll think of the projectile vomit shooting out of your mouth and onto his legs and shoes… pretty sure he’ll never want to kiss you or stand in front of you…
There’s little hope with this one, so tell your family and friends this story and have a damn good laugh!
You hock a loogie right by his foot and start picking at your teeth (somethings been stuck in your teeth all morning and you’re bound and determined to get it out while talking to him.)
His thoughts ‘If she’s this gross now, what will she be like later when we know each other?’ He will think he cannot take you out places to socialize… some things you do are better left in private!
You have an upset stomach and you feel a fart coming, you’re desperately trying to hold it in as you fear it’s going to be a loud one, and any movement you make will set this stink bomb off… oh crap! it happened! long loud and smelly… he tries not to laugh as YOU run away and hide! (yes! just run!)
Again, this will make an excellent embarrassing story down the road with family and friends! Learn to laugh at these times, sh** happens!
You burp like a sailor and blow it in his face, then you add ‘That one came from the soul!’ yes, he is stunned and not in a good way, he walks away wide-eyed, yep he does!
keep that burp blowing for later when your guy feels close enough to fart in front of you, that when the gloves come off and you can answer back!
You talk a mile a minute and it’s all about you and your shopping addiction. Need I say more!
‘Red-flag’ he’s thinking! ‘that woman must have serious debt, or she will spend all my money.’ The only way to fix this problem is to tell him your filthy rich and can shop all you want.
You talk like a baby and pinch his adorable cheek because he’s got dimples that make your heart sing.
Bad news is you remind him of his grandma, when she used to pinch his cheeks and plant a wet kiss on him as a little boy. Now the romantic vision has disappeared for him.
You tell him ‘I know this sounds crazy because we just met, but I think I love you… you propose to him on the spot! and he replies ‘no ring? no way!’… At least he had a sense of humor about it!
Moving too fast lady! Love is a word NOT to be used right away!
On A More Serious Note
Well ladies, the major problem we have when it comes to blowing it with a man is ‘moving too fast.’ The initial excitement sends us on a thrill ride and clouds our minds as we begin to picture this man in our lives for good, the long hall, the wedding cake, kids, and home life… Little do we know, if we keep it slow and steady we could possibly make that happen. Rushing is like a quick fix, it never with-stands the test of time, it’s more of a temporary thing. So my advice to you is to just go with the flow! When you begin to think ‘he’s the one’ too early on, you put pressure on yourself and him and that only leads to disaster and let’s face it, it makes you look crazy! No man wants a crazy- psycho woman, but they will settle for a crazy-fun woman!
The other turn off for a man is a gross woman. If you’re more gross than your man, he’ll question his manhood, this is because men are considered the ewww, no he didn’t, ick, make you cringe type. Yah, that’s right! I said it men! Don’t question his manhood! matter of fact clean up his act a little…
Well awesome readers of the fabulous TwinCitiesView, I hope you have a great day… Be yourself, take your time, and dial back the raunchy part of you!
1 photo by: taringa.net
photo of Braidesmaids movie by: smith dell.blogspot.com
last photo by: youqueen.com