I Fully Trust You!
So you’ve walked into a place, a familiar place, you go there quite a bit… everything is the same, except for one thing, one person to be exact! You lock eyes, you become fixated on this person who has somehow turned your world upside down, inside out, flabbergasted lust-struck! You know you want to get to know this special someone, the chemistry is exciting, to say the least. You’re a brave soul, as you gut-check yourself into walking up to say hi and start a conversation. You know he/she is not perfect, no one is, not even YOU! So when do you tell all? Do you put it all out on the table (this is me, take it or leave it!) Do you find yourself wanting to impress and therefore tell a fib or two? Is there ever a right time to tell a little white lie or hold on to a secret?
When you’re in a relationship, whether very new and you’re trying to impress the other OR you’ve known each other for many years (and know the in’s and out’s and how to annoy the other), the trust you’re creating is vital to a healthy foundation… Now, how does one fully trust a person? how do you gain that imperative life line in a relationship, this TRUST?! How and when do you start to gain and strengthen your empire together?
The information I provide is from the one and only, Dr. Robi Ludwig is a nationally known psychotherapist, award-winning reporter, contributing editor for Cookie magazine and host of GSN’s new reality game show, “Without Prejudice?”. She can be also be seen Monday nights on “Nancy Grace” on CNN’s Headline News. Dr. Ludwig is a regular contributor to the TODAY show. To learn more about Robi Ludwig and her work, you can visit: DrRobiLudwig.com and Cookiemag.com …Today.com
The Type Of Lies
First off she defines two types of lies, which I had no idea about… but it makes sense! A Hard lie VS a White lie…’The major difference between a white lie and a hard lie is that a hard lie is said to protect oneself, whereas a little white lie is said to protect someone else. Relationships can be complex and tricky at times. Sometimes a harmless, thoughtful pleasantry is just what the doctor ordered.’ says Ludwig on today.com
So When Is It Okay To Tell White Lies?
This is for ALL relationship types!
Never! ha! Okay, Okay here! Let’s get down to business… According to Dr Ludwig and quite a few other Psychotherapists, White Lies (NOT hard lies people!) are okay to say if and only if:
- When the whole truth tears someone down and makes them feel horrible about themselves rather than builds them up. Brutal honesty can be used as a toxic weapon. We are not obligated to tell the whole truth if it hurts someone’s feelings.
- A little white lie like mentioning the tooth fairy or Santa Claus is acceptable when it protects a child’s innocence or creative imagination. says Dr Ludwig
- Offering passing pleasantries. (All is fine, thanks for asking! when really what you’re thinking is ‘I’d like to cry right now and spill my guts out to you about my crappy day!’)
- Over-complimenting someone… ‘It’s the BEST I ever had!’ Haha! too funny! okay back to being serious… Mild false truths make it easier for people to get along and are primarily harmless in most cases.
I must mention that Dr Ludwig would like to explain herself when it comes to her thoughts, her morals on this interesting topic… I’ve quoted word for word, so I don’t get this wrong!
‘Now, let me make myself perfectly clear, I’m not one for lying or for telling people it’s OK to lie. Having said that, telling a little “white lie” every once in a while might actually be healthy when it comes to managing our interpersonal relationships. I clearly don’t need to go into all of the reasons why telling the truth is important. One of the fundamental foundations for our relationships depends on our ability to rely and trust those who are most dear and close to our hearts.’
Here’s your lesson on lying people… use it wisely! And if you choose to be completely honest and never lie, good for you! Just make sure you do it with respect and love, make it come from a good place, ‘I love you and I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but…’ you know that kind of thing! I believe if you always speak from the heart that you cannot go wrong!
Take care readers and have a wonderful day!
2nd Photo by: cheatbuster.blogspot.com
3rd photo by: wildgeesethatfly.com