The Danger Of Constant Disappointment
You’re in an argument with your special someone, a recurring argument, this vicious cycle that you both can’t seem to break. ‘Why don’t you make me feel special? I tell you over and over again what I need and want and you don’t do it, you must not care about me anymore, I always feel unappreciated and let down!’ as tears begin to build from their eyes through their hurt and anger. Meanwhile the significant other feels like crap! ‘I DO care, but you’re asking me to be someone I’m not. I’m tired of always being a disappointment, I just can’t win with you!’ As they are hurt and angry as well.
Is this a healthy relationship to have with this same feeling and problem with each other. Is it unfair to tell someone they have to love you a certain way (your WAY)? Can you not have that expectation and allow them to love you their way?(if it’s healthy!) This is just one of the MANY ways disappointment can enter your life, Whether it’s parent to kids vise-versa, spouses, siblings, friends, disappointment is around us! So let us learn a thing or two about disappointment so we can manage it…
Are you someone who suffers from disappointment often?
There are two main positions when it comes to ‘disappointment’ there are some who always feel disappointed or let down by others, than there are some who always feel like the disappointment. Here we are as a society walking about our lives not really aware of the many people feeling this negative emotion of being constantly disappointed or being the constant disappointment… either way it can’t be fun!
Here’s the deal, it IS damaging to the person, there is a reason why they feel like this, and there are ways of dealing with it, so readers let’s continue to read this post, to learn, to change for the better… let’s learn how to deal with the disappointments!
The Person Who Is Always Feeling Disappointed
“People who score high on the disappointment scale are at greater risk of physical or emotional difficulties, or both. Such individuals appear to have a greater frequency of headaches, gastrointestinal difficulties, moist palms, and over-perspiration than those scoring low on this scale. For some, being very disappointed for prolonged periods of time can lead to chronic stress problems.” says Amy Bellows PhD from PsychCentral
A way of dealing with always being let down/disappointed is to shift your expectations of others, make them realistic. Try to put yourself into the disappointing persons shoes. Maybe they have been through a challenging time in their life, or maybe they are still in a hard time that is preoccupying their mind, time, energy. Sometimes our expectations may seem realistic to us, but for others it may be out of there reach, their capabilities, their desires to give their all at this particular time in their life. Instead of getting on them constantly and making them feel worse, let’s shift the way we think and go about getting our point across and HELP them. Ask them what they are able to pitch in with at this time, what can you help out with? when are you available to do this or that? And be flexible! Another thing that can help relieve your stress with being disappointed is to pick your battles. You are in charge with what bothers you and what doesn’t (believe it or not!) You have a choice of whether to allow something to bug you or let it roll off your back (as my dad says ‘ be like a duck and let it roll off your back.’) Take your deep breaths and ask yourself ‘is this really that important, do I really need to get this upset over it?’ And if it does need to be addressed, communicate in a respectful way. Most disappointments are caused by a lack of communication and misunderstanding, so that’s something BOTH parties can work on to improve the situation.
The Person Who Feels Like The Constant Disappointment
It’s almost like being in a state of temporary depression, to feel like you’re always letting the people around you down. Constantly feeling like a disappointment is a struggle to overcome, but it can be conquered! We all know what it feels like to feel like a disappointment, we’ve all been there at some point! you know the feeling with each time you feel like you’ve disappointed someone, it brings you to a lower LOW that you didn’t know existed, it kicks you while your down, it lowers your self-esteem, and leaves you short of breath, trying to keep your head above water so to speak. You feel yourself wanting to give up, BUT know that you can make it through anything! It’s all temporary, it’s normal to go through difficulties and to be a disappointment AT TIMES (not often). It’s how you choose to deal with it that makes all the difference in the world. Just imagine working through it all and coming out on top. You can look back at that point in your life and truly appreciate where you end up, in a happy place! My advice to you is to keep your head up, smile through the tears, and know you’re going to be a better person because of this. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, so please, give yourself a break, meditate, come up with a plan, work hard, and kick butt! You can do it!
Remember, you are not alone! All you can do is your best… Try to not allow yourself to suffer for too long because there are physical and emotional effects to your body by stress and anxiety due to a constant state of disappointment… don’t stress your body out! Work on communication, understanding and remember to show that beautiful SMILE of yours!
If you are someone who deals with disappointment often, no matter what side you fall on, know it’s up to you to manage it. All it takes is a change in your thought process, let optimism take hold of you and flourish!
Take care readers!
photo 1 by: docdreufus.com
photo 2 by: wordsonimages.com