Advice To People Giving Parents Advice!
Parents have been there on several occasions and felt that ‘everyone’s a critic‘ yes/no?! You should do it that way! you should do it this way! you hover around your kid too much! or the opposite, you don’t pay attention to what your kids doing enough! No matter what type of parent you are, you’ve felt that people hover over your parenting and wish they would either talk to you in a different way or just back off because Lord knows they aren’t perfect parents. People make mistakes, parents make mistakes, we live we learn, but to judge the parents overall parenting style on a particular situation/moment is unfair. Note: (this does not apply to parents who harm/damage their kids wellbeing). So what advice do we have for the people who want to put in their two cents on others parenting techniques? How can parents respond to others critiquing their every move? let’s dive in and find out…
How To Give Advice To Parents
- Instead of giving an order such as ‘do it this way’ or even saying ‘you should do it this way,’ TRY: ‘Hey, you know what I tried that used to work for me… maybe it might work for you too, but it’s totally up to you.’ BOOM, so much better!
- Assess the situation to see if it’s even worth mentioning… if the parent is yawning, hair unkempt, tired eyes and looks in need of coffee, know that the way they’re parenting at that particular moment MIGHT not be how they always go about things, let them off the hook because they CAN have an off day, it’s okay… it really is! Cut them some much-needed slack!
- Remind yourself that times may have changed since you raised kids, so your advice may get them in trouble or might not pertain to the current times… so bite your tongue before telling a parent that they should let their child explore the neighborhood or city at the age of 8 or younger, it’s a No-No. They could get in trouble for that! Matter of fact it is against the law to leave any child under the age of 8 in a car or any dwelling unless accompanied by a 13 yr old or older (FYI). USAToday. The reason being is that MORE PEOPLE in the world equals MORE BAD PEOPLE in the world, and this law was put in place for the safety of all children. Believe it or not, we parents have to be more careful these days whether we like it or not, it doesn’t mean we’re hovering! (hovering is more in the lines of… well, after this post read my past post of: ‘Hoverboarding is cool, hover-parenting is not!’ Click Here! )
- Be honest with YOURSELF! remember you made mistakes raising your kids and DON’T JUDGE! Parenting is a challenge and a learn as you go kind of deal. Remember that! Either wait for the parent to come to you to ask for advice or politely say ‘I’ve been in this situation before and I went about it all wrong at times, but I finally found something that worked well, if you want to hear it let me know…’ (believe me they’ll let you know they want your secret to successful parenting for whatever is troubling them because they’re probably desperate for a solution!)
- Don’t get mad at the parent if they don’t take your advice. They know their child best and knows what works and what doesn’t with certain things.
- If you’re NOT a parent and you’re trying to give advice to a parent, just stop right there! It’s NOT the same as nannying or babysitting. the dynamics’ are different when it’s your own kids, it just is! Note: (only give advice if you are a professional in the field without being an actual parent yourself!)
How To Receive Advice Parents!
- Know that the advice they want to give you is not an attack but more of a ‘been there done that, and I’d love to help because I wish someone helped me with this‘ approach!
- Know that you don’t have all the answers and that doesn’t make you a bad parent, that makes you human and well a PARENT… no parent knows it all (unless your name is Eloise, only kidding! even I don’t know it all and learn from others!)
- Thank them for the advice if given in a respectful way and from the heart, and either take it or leave it… You are the parent and when it comes down to it you know your child better than anyone, so you make the final call!
Well, I think I covered everything I intended to cover on this topic. I hope this reaches many people so we all can stop ticking each other off, HA! ~wink~ But this does need to be practiced and I think other parents as well as the advice givers can attest to this and would LOVE for people to follow these guidelines. It just makes sense to go about advice this way, what do you think?!
For more rules/laws in a State by State basis refer to : Latchkey Kids Age Limits (BBB accredited A+ rating), click here!
Take care readers!
photo 1 by: blog.afterschool.ae
photo 2 by: pinterest
photo 3 by: Real Simple Magazine