Life is precious… Whenever we find ourselves going through a near death experience or knowing someone who has passed do we really think about how precious it is. I was born with a rare liver disease that almost took my life, it was scary and a major wake up call to how life should be lived here on earth. I am in the process of writing my journey through each phase (from living with warning signs and going to the Doctors frequently, to my spiritual existence, to then my recovery).
I am sharing a piece of my story with you in this blog posting… My Book is called “Copper Is My Kryptonite” when it is complete I hope that you will want to read all of it.
Copper Is My Kryptonite
The Pain grew to be unbearable,
I was in the Lords hands now,
Praying to see the sunrise,
to see another day of life…
I knew I was in trouble. I lay still unable to think, speak, or hear anything around me. Slowly, out of the fog, I saw a bright light as blazing as the sun illuminated in my room. Aware, I struggled to see through this beaming light. My eyes burned to adjust to this intense wonder, there was a halo and beneath the halo a beauty and warmth, a figure of comfort, “what is it?” I asked myself. It was such a lovely light, filled with many beautiful colors gleaming before me. It was not a light which we see here on earth, but a light that is blended of all the colors, of white, all the colors, of yellow, with a hint of shimmering gold, it was breath-taking. So vivid, so spectacular, so radiant I had to squint to make it clear. What was I actually seeing? I worked to focus, to finally make sense of what was happening… “Ah, I see now,” she was close enough to touch me, “She was my guardian Angel, ready to walk me into the eternal life.”
Angel held my gaze. I was infatuated with her glowing beauty. When she reached for my hand to bring me on my journey to heaven, I almost took hold, but something inside of me felt like I was not ready to go, it was at that moment I thought of my two beautiful children. It was not my responsibility that held me, here, but my deep love for two beings that filled every crevice of my being, mind, soul and body. I told my sweet Angel, I was not ready to leave my children – though I knew one day I would have to let go… but not yet, not now. I needed to live for them, to be there for them, to teach them, love them, kiss them, kiss their toes, noses and cheeks… and hug them throughout the day, every day. I could see my Angel speaking but I heard nothing; I tried to hear her speak, but could only read her lips and so I caught the tail end of her words…. ‘It’s okay” she said. She knew I was not ready for this journey and accepted this surprise, for there after, she prayed and so I understood and I prayed too, for this day to last until tomorrow.
I prayed to the Lord, I prayed he let me live, to help me get through this episode. One would think to wait for such a necessary answer, but his response was immediate… Soon my pain had vanished, discomforts nonexistent, my sadness erased, my confusion completely dissolved, and all other negative emotions were gone. It was as if I’ve never felt any negativity, ever. I had no idea of the meaning. No idea of world, no idea of existence but instead I felt a sense of intense warmth, peace, and love. These wonderful feelings were so overwhelming, that I knew no people on earth could ever have felt such a thing. It is only in spirit and in the presence of God and Angels.
Now, I was amazed to see then and there, many angels praying for me. My parents, husband, and doctors were not visible yet as I was still in this spiritual world, having a reunion with my loved ones from heaven. Relief and excited feelings filled me. I had this moment to reconnect with my grandmothers who I missed so desperately, my grandfathers who I wished to know better and now could, my aunts, my uncles, and others who’s sole purpose was to hold me, to give me prayers, strength, comfort, and love.
They all stayed with me that first night as I was fighting for every inch of my life.
“Just stay awake”, I told myself. It seemed like hours… yet I held my eyes open and coaxed my self “don’t go to sleep. I know you’re tired, more tired than you’ve ever felt in your 30 years of life, but you’ve got to stay awake or you will never wake up again and you will not see another day of life”. “Don’t sleep, don’t sleep”… I repeated this chant in my head over and over again. God created a protective bubble, like a force – field, in this force-field he had given me a deep Zen feeling, relaxing my body to a peace I had never reached in my life, he had given me strength and love to get me through the night…I held on.
Time felt endless and I felt as though I was neither in heaven nor in my life on earth, but rather in a tunnel between both places filled with the overwhelming love from all. I couldn’t hear anyone but myself as I chanted to stay focused, to stay awake in order to keep living. Then something happened, a touch I felt on my shoulder, my force-field had been entered, soon the tunnel was disappearing out of sight as I reentered my body. I was present in my hospital room, but yet in a fog again, as I had to adjust to the earthly world. “Who touched me?” I thought to myself, as I looked to my left a doctor had his hand upon my shoulder.
I heard the many Doctors in my room who were speaking many muffled words… words that were not registering in my mind. But I now sensed and trusted my parents and husband to listen. I felt their wishes too, now. I felt their tears, will and prayers outpouring to the edges of earth. They were present. They were in the wings of the Angels amidst the cloud of my gratitude.
Thank God for my family in heaven.
Thank God for my loves here on earth.
I really don’t know how I would have done this without any of them.
I thank myself for being open, for being determined, for being driven to live another day, to reach all days, to become years, many thankful years to come.
Just a taste of my book, I hope you enjoyed it…